And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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