Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
