btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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