oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
