so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
