Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
