i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just pee around me
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.