Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  stop writing like that.

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  (410): hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;) (1-410): stop writing like that. http://tfl.nu/yu8k
  Replies (25) Good night (6778) Bad night (1303)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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  (856): Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job http://tfl.nu/pld4
  Replies (19) Good night (1221) Bad night (4238)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.

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  (856): It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore. http://tfl.nu/4nio
  Replies (9) Good night (1513) Bad night (4537)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7480) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.

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  (440): Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing. http://tfl.nu/eukd
  Replies (36) Good night (1333) Bad night (3426)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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  (509): I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job. http://tfl.nu/4wpv
  Replies (10) Good night (3615) Bad night (812)
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  (209): View more from California

  you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...

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  (209): you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom... http://tfl.nu/nw55
  Replies (9) Good night (3592) Bad night (1248)
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  (585): View more from New York

  they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too

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  (585): they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too http://tfl.nu/0m73
  Replies (6) Good night (3362) Bad night (799)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"

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  (210): She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream," http://tfl.nu/rf9x
  Replies (8) Good night (3536) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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  (606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12
  Replies (8) Good night (652) Bad night (2191)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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  (248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt
  Replies (12) Good night (3271) Bad night (803)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart

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  (630): Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart http://tfl.nu/qpzs
  Replies (8) Good night (542) Bad night (1400)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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  (270): Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad. http://tfl.nu/hoxr
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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  (901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.

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  (816): Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break. http://tfl.nu/ueuh
  Replies (5) Good night (320) Bad night (474)

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