Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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