so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
