This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize