i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize