Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We are all done wearing pants today
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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