He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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