she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
