i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
