apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
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Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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