I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
