If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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