I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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