so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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