Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
