We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
