It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
