She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
