for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
