I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Come on in and take your pants off
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
