Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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