we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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