I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How does one acquire holy water?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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