the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
