Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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