You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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