we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
