Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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