so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
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He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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