Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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