Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
