Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
