This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
