I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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