How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
