hotel room ftw
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
