fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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