That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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