69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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