I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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