I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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