it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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