Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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