hotel room ftw
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
