The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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