I am puke
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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