You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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