so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She told me I should be a condom model.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
