I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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