Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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