Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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