No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
